There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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