Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
