Say something about gay babies.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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