you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
