Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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