you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
