Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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