What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
