In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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