so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
