i think i have herpe
just one?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
