Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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