that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
