I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im holly from the hills drunk
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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