You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
