Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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