How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Of course I have a pirate flag
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize