why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize