do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
