I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
