it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
