i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize