I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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