I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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