Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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