Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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