a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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