I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
