There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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