I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
