I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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