i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
