Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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