Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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