so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
