This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The beer is more important than you right now.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
