so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
