You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
