you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
