"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize