So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
