I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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