...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
