Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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