Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
