you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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