I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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