Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
