What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My penis needs a shock collar
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
