I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
