We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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