its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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