Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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