I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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