hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
