i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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