My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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